DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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