bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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