I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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