Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Say something about gay babies.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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