I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
