I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
