best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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