the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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