What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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