I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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