I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
