I think I am morally bankrupt
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
