And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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