Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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