bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
