He uses pillows to masturbate.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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