he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is