I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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