My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
