We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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