she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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