apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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