I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
