We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
