i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
