Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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