well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
