i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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