everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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