I'm really into asian looking animals
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize