I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
