I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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