is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
