1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
