careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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