just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
