found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just cut my nipple shaving
My balls are so social today.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
