I hate your face
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
