I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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