I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
