from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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