she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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