i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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