There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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