My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
