Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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