Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize