Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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