Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Two words: nipple clamps
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