I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
