i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
