we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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