i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize