u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
