my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
