listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
