babies were throwing up all over the place
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just found puke in my bra..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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