that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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